October 1, 2004

Feeling frazzled? Today's teens' jam-packed schedules are causing an excess of stress

Mary Lou Hurley

Three years on the soccer team, one as captain. Band for two years and chess club for four. If you think you're the only kid on activity overload, think again. More and more teens are juggling homework with after-school activities, volunteer work, and jobs, and are exhausted from the effort.

Ask Lindsey Jones. Jones is an 18-year-old senior at Ridgewood High School in Ridgewood, N.J. Her busy lifestyle "takes away from my sleep," she told Current Health. "If I could change my schedule, I'd probably do a little less."

Thanks to a steady stream of club meetings, music lessons, and sports, teens like Jones are finding themselves on the fast track to burnout.

How Did We Get Here?

The trend began in the 1980s when educators said organized activities would benefit kids. They were right; extracurricular activities give kids an opportunity to socialize, learn organizational skills, gain self-esteem, and stay out of trouble.

Some teenagers, like 18-year-old Caroline Gable, enjoy having a busy schedule. A senior at Ridgewood High School, Gable serves as class president and school representative to the board of education. She also performs with the school's theater group and teaches religious education classes. "I'm not stressed," she said. "I've gotten to know a lot of kids at school by being so involved."

Some experts worry that kids are being encouraged to take on activities for all the wrong reasons. Often adults focus on how well a child performs or how the activity may be perceived by others. "One ninth grader told me that her aunt suggested she teach art to the deaf because it would look good on a college application," said Alvin Rosenfeld. Rosenfeld is a child psychiatrist based in Greenwich, Conn., and is co-author of the book The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap. The book encourages parents to limit scheduled activities and urges kids to spend more time creating their own fun.

All Work and No Play?

Twenty years ago, kids had a lot more free time--12 more hours per week, according to a University of Michigan study. The study compared time diaries completed between 1981 and 1997 and found that kids today are busier than ever.

Some kids don't even realize what they are missing. "We heard about a middle school English teacher who asked students to write about what they do when they hang out," said Barbara Carlson. "There were kids who were confused--they didn't know what it meant to hang out." Carlson is a cofounder of Putting Family First, a Minnesota organization that educates parents about the problems of overscheduling.

Family Time

A busy schedule also means less time to hang out with family. In a 2000 national poll conducted by the YMCA, teens said their main concern was not spending enough time with their parents. Jones agrees. "I never see my family," said Jones. "When I do see my mom, she gives me a to-do list. Then I get overloaded about everything I need to do."

Studies show that teens benefit from spending quality time with their parents and siblings. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA), kids who regularly eat dinner with their families are less likely than other kids to smoke, drink alcohol, or use illegal drugs. CASA lists attending religious services and working on homework as other family activities that keep kids out of trouble.

Taking It Easy

In some towns, parents have focused on spending quality time with their kids instead of rushing them to games and classes. In Ridgewood, parents organize a Ready, Set, Relax! night once a year. With the support of schools and coaches, kids have no homework and no practices for one night.

Other organizations are following suit. Rosenfeld has founded a group to encourage families to set aside family time at least one night a month. Another group, Putting Family First, plans to sponsor an activity-free night in Wayzata, Minn., sometime in the near future.

Karl Kakuk, 13, of Plymouth, Minn., has already gotten the message. Although he's enjoyed organized activities in the past, he passed on joining the wrestling team at Wayzata East Middle School last year. Meeting every day after school for six weeks was "too much," the seventh grader said. "I'd rather have time to do what I want to do, like listen to music, read, and build things."

Karl's 16-year-old sister, Allyn, a sophomore at Wayzata High School, has danced for 11 years but makes family time a priority. The Kakuks eat dinner together each night and play games or watch movies on Saturdays. "I'm pretty good at organizing my priorities," Allyn said. "Spending time with your family is a valuable thing that people shouldn't miss."

Just Say No!

If you're feeling overwhelmed by your after-school activities, tell someone. Barbara Carlson of Putting Family First recommends that overscheduled teens spell out for their parents the reasons they'd like to cut back. "They can talk about what they'd rather do, including spending time on a hobby or hanging out with friends," Carlson explained. If approaching your parents is difficult, try asking a neighbor, a teacher, or another trusted adult for help.

* Slow down.
Do only activities that you truly enjoy. Sign up for fewer after-school activities, or play just one sport per season.

* Be unproductive sometimes.
Try to schedule one activity-free afternoon a week. Read a book, shoot hoops, watch a movie with friends, or do something else fun.

* Schedule a family game night.
Talk to your family about setting aside one night a week, and decide how you want the night to work. For instance, you might take turns choosing the games each week, or you could share a favorite family dinner on that night.

* Make changes.
Try activities that don't need team participation, such as running, hiking, and camping. Volunteer at a nursing home. Explore a new hobby.

REVIEW/DISCUSS

* Does every person have the same level of tolerance for a busy schedule?
(No. Being busy stimulates some people; others become worn out.)

* How can people balance their schedules?
(Answers may vary but include the following: Make time to read, hang out with friends, spend time with family, be alone, or listen to music.)

ACTIVITIES

1. If your students show signs of stress caused by over-scheduling, encourage them to write what they might say to their parents to reduce their commitments.

2. Spend two to three minutes each day practicing a stress reliever with your students: Play soft music, do slow stretching exercises, take a few deep breaths, have everyone close his or her eyes, read to students, or take a walk. Doing stress relievers in class will give your students ways to deal with stress when they are at home.

3. Have each student make a poster for his or her room that shows several ways to relax. Students' ideas of relaxation will vary. Students might use original artwork, pictures of favorite places that bring back happy memories, CD or DVD covers of their favorite music or movies, or depictions of activities or sports they enjoy. They may want to include a few sentences that remind them what to do when they feel stressed.