May 5, 2000

Hey, hey, mama - parenting is a tough slog.

While it's a rare parent who has time to read (for herself) after the big delivery, authors are flooding the shelves with self-help books examining the minutiae of child-rearing.

Read them. Or fear them.

Hyper-parenting is the hot new phrase.

It describes parents who over-schedule, over-stimulate and over-enrich their kids, from the womb on, to help them reach ''their potential."

Black-and-white infant mobiles, Mozart tapes, relentless play dates for preschoolers, enforced piano lessons - we're all guilty of something.

Hyper-Parenting: Are You Hurting Your Child By Trying Too Hard? (St. Martin's Press, 257 pages, $35.99), by Alvin Rosenfeld and Nicole Wise, urges us to identify our inner hyper-parent.

Written by a psychiatrist and a journalist - who have seven children between them - the book argues that children's lives are being micro-managed and turned into three-ring circuses.

The book has an irritating "We Americans" edge but this is a well-timed call to examine parenting choices.