By SHARON MILLER CINDRICH Special to the Journal Sentinel
Posted: Dec. 18, 2003
Your calendar is cluttered with holiday parties, office get-togethers, school pageants and travel arrangements, all blocked out in color-coded marker.
You've squeezed in a few nights of baking, wrapping, cleaning and entertaining. But have you managed to squeeze any quiet time into the hubbub of the holidays this year?
Family parties, travel and holiday activities intended for celebrating the season often create extra stress, pressure and anxiety, especially in children.
"Many supposedly 'fun' scheduled activities are anything but fun; they are tense, pressured time when a child is expected to perform," says Alvin Rosenfeld, author of four books, including "The Overscheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap."
In adults, unrealistic expectations, financial limitations, family obligations and overindulging create extra stress.
According to the Mental Health Association in Milwaukee County, depression peaks during the holidays, affecting as many as 17.6 million Americans.
The phrase "holiday downtime" may seem like an oxymoron, but vacation days and school breaks need to be just that - mental and physical breaks from life's pressures.
"Family life should not be overloaded with chores and commitments that add unnecessary resentment to daily life. If your family is too busy to hang out together, if you and your spouse hardly even spend time alone together as a couple, adjustments need to be made," says Rosenfeld, who adds that restful time together talking, taking walks or playing games is essential for families.
Put some "holiday downtime" at the top of your wish list this year to ensure a happier, healthier holiday season.
Here are some suggestion, from the Mental Health Association and other sources, of ways to incorporate the fun of the holidays with low-key activities that will be enjoyed as fully as festive holiday parties.
Be cozy, not crazy: Don't let the season pass without planning a day to listen to holiday music and cozy up with some popcorn, hot cider and each other. Pull out the sofa bed and watch an old movie or dig up some home videos of years past. Designate a PJ Day and hang around in your flannels and fuzzy slippers. Stay inside and shake presents around the tree, play a board game, work on a family scrapbook or just take a nap.
Enjoy the quiet sparkle of the season: Instead of crowded holiday events, pack some cookies and hot cocoa in a thermos and take a nighttime drive through your neighborhood to ooh and ahh at the holiday decorations. It's free, fun and festive.
Once you've seen your block, venture downtown to see the 2003 Milwaukee Holiday Lights Festival including the "Holiday Spirit Park" display in Cathedral Square, the "Gingerbread Fantasy" display at Pere Marquette Park and the "Penguins at Play" display at Zeidler Union Square, where the lights will be glowing through Jan. 4. Get details at www.milwaukeeholidaylights.com.
Pick and choose: There are parties at work, at school, at church and in the neighborhood, but you don't have to make an appearance at every one. You'll save money, lower stress and find it easier to schedule downtime if you attend just two or three events that mean the most to you.
Eat more, cook less: Save your energy for the holiday meals you've committed yourself to and use the other meal times as an excuse to order in or take out. Don't be afraid to make a frozen pizza a new Christmas Eve tradition in your family if you've planned on cooking a big dinner the next day. If decorating cookies is a favorite event in your home, cut the work in half by buying pre-made dough or better yet, already baked cookies and letting the sprinkles and icing and tasting begin.
Downtime doesn't always mean together time: Mom may be reading the paper while Dad is watching a movie and Junior is playing with his new racetrack. Just being together in the same house can be comforting and relaxing for everyone.
Unplug, disconnect and turn the ringer off: Sometimes disconnecting yourself from the world may be the best way to guarantee yourself a little peace. Resist the urge to turn on the television or computer, and once you've wished everyone a happy holiday, turn the phone off and restrain yourself from checking your messages until the following day. You might be amazed at the high-quality rest you can get from a low-tech day.
From the Dec. 21, 2003 editions of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
