Whistles blow for alpha families to call a timeout

Page 2 of 3 -- In Ridgewood, the school district has designated one Tuesday evening every March as a time of no extracurricular activity. In Sidney, N.Y., a town of 4,000 near Binghamton, the school superintendent has set aside Wednesdays as activity-free nights, even shifting Board of Education meetings to other days.

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Childhood specialists say two big obstacles block such efforts from becoming more widespread and reversing the national trend. Allen, Ridgewood's wellness director, said community leaders in many places are reluctant to criticize well-meaning, loving parents who think they are doing what's right for their children. And parents feel pressure from other parents, fearing if they cut back on their own children's schedules, others will not, creating a competitive disadvantage when college admissions time arrives.

Coppola, the Ridgewood parent who listened to Allen and two school coaches at the Ridgewood High meeting, acknowledged he is torn. He understands their arguments that competition on elite youth teams that travel to games should be deemphasized and children should play for fun rather than to win, but he is not sure if other parents will buy into it. He fears some parents will pull children off teams that are not competitive.

''This is a seismic shift of philosophy that they are advocating," Allen said. ''Many people in this town gravitate toward travel teams. They are very competitive and they want the best for children and sometimes they measure the best for their child with wins and losses. They don't measure by the amount of fun you are having. . . . They have to be convinced their kids are being harmed by competing at these levels."

Rosenfeld, the New York psychiatrist, said there is plenty of evidence that should persuade them. ''What is sad is despite all the evidence that this is not good, the social pressure to do this is if you don't, then you are considered a remiss parent," he said. ''If you decide not to sign Johnny up for soccer, then other parents are going to look at you as if you are a hair's breadth shy of being a child abuser. That is a tragedy and that is what has gotten us into this situation."

It is unclear how this frenetic pace for the nation's children began. Some analysts point to the rise in youth soccer teams about 15 years ago. Allen believes it started in the 1980s, when many districts reorganized to start middle schools, deemphasizing athletics and leading parents to create new leagues.

''Initially it wasn't much of a problem . . . but once it got out of the school control, someone said, 'If we're doing it for seventh- and eighth-graders, why not for sixth and fourth?' Now it is not uncommon to have 3-year-old sport leagues," said Allen.   Continued...