DOES your preschooler have an appointment diary for his Lego workshops?

Does your three-month-old baby attend yoga and pilates?

Does your teenager have so many after-school activities that she can barely fit in school?

Welcome to the world of hyper-parenting, where parents wanting to maximise their children's development submit them to a punishing routine of organised sport and activities.

Time spent making mud pies or playing with Barbies has given way to violin lessons, soccer practice, toddler gymnastics and accelerated learning classes.

Parents fear that if they opt out of this activity whirlwind, their kids may never catch up.

But child development experts say an increasing number of families are suffering burnout because of their children's gruelling daily schedules.

Psychologists also report seeing children with acute stress suffering sleeplessness, facial tics, migraines and bed-wetting.

It's not just confined to affluent families; even those on lower incomes save to pay for classes costing more than $20 an hour.

Alvin Rosenfeld, author of Hyper-Parenting and The Over-Scheduled Child, says parenting has become the "most competitive adult sport".

"Today's children are so tightly scheduled that many have never invented a backyard game or had time to just hang out with friends," he says in Youth Studies Australia.

Mr Rosenfeld says US research suggests over-scheduling may be damaging marriages and causing children to be diagnosed with depression and attention deficit disorder.

Lidia and Clinton Lee know the pressures facing parents all too well. Daughter Stephanie, 9, does ballet, plays three musical instruments, takes swimming classes and is a competition-standard gymnast.

Her appointment diary began filling up at just six months, when she began music lessons and baby gymnastics.

BUT Mr Lee says they have no particular ambitions for Stephanie, who is in Grade 3 at Fintona Girls' School.

"The most important thing is that she enjoys it -- and she does. She's so enthusiastic and driven," he says.

The pressures of Stephanie's schedule weigh most heavily on Mrs Lee, who drives from their Warrandyte home to gymnastics in Prahran three times a week.

She often spends her evenings waiting in the car for Stephanie to complete her three-hour class.

"Stephanie loves it. She never wants to give anything up, but I spend a lot of time in the car," Mrs Lee says.

Their son Tyler, 4, who has been diagnosed with developmental difficulties, is also getting extra help with learning.

"Classes are not just for the high achievers but can help those at the other end of the spectrum," Mr Lee explains.

More and more families are becoming like the Lees.

A 2003 Australian Bureau of Statistics study shows almost two thirds of children aged 5 to 14 participate in organised sport.

Almost one third play two or more organised sports -- swimming and soccer are most popular.

One third participate in organised cultural activities such as playing a musical instrument, dancing or singing, and drama. Almost all receive formal lessons.

However, children are getting some time to just chill out.

The study also reports 75 per cent of children read for pleasure, 62 per cent ride their bike, 50 per cent do art and craft, and 98 per cent watch television or videos.

Janet Hall, a family and relationship psychologist and author of Fear-Free Children, says over-scheduling makes families tense.

"We are seeing a number of children whose nervous systems aren't programmed to cope with such over-stimulation," she says.

"They are so stretched in every way, and can suffer from bed-wetting, facial tics, migraines and even eating disorders. These are clockwork kids -- wind them up and watch them go and go."

Playgroup Victoria program manager Kaye Plowman agrees the pressure on families "to be always doing things, always producing things" is a concern.

"We are trying to get parents to value the simple play experiences for children which involve both time and space," she says.

THIS pressure to perform appears to be applied to children earlier now than ever before.

Melbourne's local parenting bible, Melbourne's Child, is packed full of advertisements urging parents to "ensure a successful start to school" and to give children "the educational edge".

There are Japanese language classes, Lego workshops, maths coaching, yoga, ballet and kindermusik. Sprinkled among them are ads for anxiety disorders and stress clinics. It's no wonder young mothers are wondering whether their six-month-olds are missing out.

Canterbury mother Diana Dixon is already worrying about whether her seven-month-old son, Sam, should be enrolled in swimming classes or kindergym.

"It's a concern when you hear about what some kids are already doing. You don't want your child to miss out or be behind others," she says.

"You think, are you making the most of their potential?"

Judy Radich, national president of Early Childhood Australia, says there has been a huge growth in such activities in recent years.

"Toddlers have to have the right shoes and the right outfit," she says. "It 's just setting kids up to be competitive from an early age.

"They have to perform in the right way. But kids can enjoy music and movement without all this."

Providers of such classes are keen to insist their activities are fun and appreciated by their young participants.

Learningland, for example, introduces children as young as two to letters through craft, music, games and activities at a cost of $125 for nine lessons.

Director Cath McLeod began her business just three years ago and now has 11 centres.

"They become confident, and it's great for their self-esteem and makes them ready to take that step into prep," she says.

"We are not there to push them or hothouse them."

Another in-demand educator is Sue Keogh, who runs Babygym for babies from three months old.

At $95 for 10 weeks, babies and their carers learn massage, basic stretching and exercises designed to aid digestion and relaxation.

"I'm anti-flashcards," she insists. "This is about the benefits of gentle interaction. Nobody needs to do these things."

VICTORIAN Parenting Centre director Warren McCann says a lot of structured activities are in fact good for children but are not necessary for development.

"It's understandable that parents want the best for their children, but children will still learn to walk and run and jump even if they don't attend gymnastics," he says.

Even those running children's activities call for moderation.

Gay Hopgood, Victorian Yamaha Music Education Centre senior administrator, says parents can be "suckered into taking their kids out every afternoon and every Saturday morning".

But she insists music lessons -- as early as age three -- build crucial oral skills, stimulate the imagination and aid storytelling.

So what can parents do to keep things under control?

Mr McCann says the time to stop is when parents and children "feel under stress by the logistics of their timetable".

Ms Radich suggests reading to children daily and encouraging unstructured play time and experimentation with music and dance.

"Most important is establishing your relationship with them. Kids have their whole lives to be bossed around by adults," she says.

STEPHANIE'S SCHEDULE

Monday
Ballet, one hour

Tuesday
Rhythmic gymnastics, three hours
Mitiamo string quartet

Wednesday
Swimming, half an hour

Thursday
Night off

Friday
Gymnastics, three hours

Saturday
Gymnastics, three hours